Tremor
by crazy about twilight
Summary: My take on the classic "What if Edward hadn't kept his thirst in check the day he met Bella" story.
1. Chapter One

This story is the classic, "What if Edward failed to keep his thirst in check the day he met Bella?" Well, here's my version of that idea. (:

Continued from page 27 of Twilight.

Disclaimer: I am not Stephenie Meyer, so I don't own Twilight or the first four sentences of this story. (:

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**Tremor**

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I went meekly to the desk, my face white for once instead of red, and handed her the slip.

"How did your first day go, dear?" the receptionist asked maternally.

"Fine," I lied, my voice weak. She didn't look convinced.

I managed the tiniest hint of a smile, attempting to reassure her, and then turned on my heel to leave. Exiting the office, I took in a deep breath of damp air, trying to calm my thoughts. It didn't work.

My footsteps faltered as I rushed to my truck, which was now one of the two cars left in the parking lot. My tear ducts threatened to release tears, and I hurried even faster to my car; I wanted to wait until I reached the house for my emotions to get the better of me. Much to my dismay, as I reached the old pick-up, a few salty droplets betrayed me and slipped down my cheeks.

I brushed them off hastily and rounded the truck bed, then stopped in my tracks.

A figure was leaning casually against the cab, their back to the front door, arms folded across their chest. On a closer look, the person was revealed to be none other than Edward Cullen. His body was in the shadow of the truck, but his extremely pale skin and striking black eyes I could identify easily.

I did my best to stifle a surprised gasp and then sniffled, hoping to wipe away any remnants of my brief emotional breakdown. It was bad enough to let Edward affect me this way; it would be even worse to let him see it in action. I could only imagine how he would treat me if he realized that my traitor tears were dropped because of him.

I stepped toward him, shoving my hands into my jeans pocket for the key. "Um…" I mumbled, unsure of what to say.

Edward walked toward me and stood directly in front of me, his face no longer hidden by the pick-up's cab. I was shocked to find that a crooked grin was gracefully placed on his face. His eyes, though, I noticed, were still curious. They even looked pained, like he had just received an awful wound. But their darkness and depth smoldered me, and I found myself at a loss for words and my thoughts in a jumble.

"Hello, Bella," Edward said to me. His voice sounded like melted honey. I saw him close his eyes inhale deeply through his mouth, but instantly his lips clamped together into a tight line. His eyelids opened, looking at me, as he tried to smile again.

The fury and aggravation that I had seen in the cafeteria made its way back into his pitch-black orbs. I took a small step back, suddenly startled by his change in attitude. My thoughts, free from his previously gorgeous eyes, were able to sort themselves out. What was he doing waiting for me by my car? Why was he talking to me? He'd spent the entire day avoiding me like I was the Black Plague, and now he found me to be worthy of his time?

"What are you doing here?" I asked him, putting as much steel into my voice as possible. I hoped that my alarm was transparent in my words. I shifted my weight onto one leg and placed my hands on my hips defiantly.

Edward seemed to find amusement in my indignation, and he laughed. The sound was like deep bells chiming. "I was wondering if you'd give me the satisfaction of an amble in the forest."

I eyed him speculatively. Another abrupt change in demeanor? What was with this guy?

If he wasn't bipolar, then surely he had a multiple personality disorder.

Faintly, I recognized the sound of a car starting and, out of the corner of my eye, saw a blue sedan pull out of the parking lot. Ms. Cope had just left; Edward and I were now the only ones left at the school.

I continued to stare into his eyes, trying to see what he was thinking. No such luck.

So what if he wanted to walk with me? He'd treated me awful all day; he didn't acknowledge me at all in biology class. Why even bother with him?

_Because you find him interesting_, the voice in my head told me calmly. I compressed that thought immediately. While I did find Edward, and all the Cullens for that matter, exceptionally graceful and alluring, I wasn't about to put my trust into someone who treated me with such ignorance. I narrowed my eyes at him.

"Why?" I asked him.

"Because I'd like to get to know you better," he told answered casually, as though we regularly chatted every day for our entire lives.

"What? Why?" I asked him again, anger replacing the curiosity in my voice. "It's clear that you don't like me. In fact, I wouldn't doubt that you hate me. You didn't speak to me all day. So, why now? Why take interest in me now?"

He stepped toward me once more; there was now less than a foot of space between us. The sudden close proximity between him and I made me anxious.

Edward closed his eyes and sighed, letting the air through his nose. His mouth was still shut. Unthinkingly, I inhaled the sweet scent of his breath. It smelled heavenly. "Please forgive me for my rude behavior. There were some issues I was dealing with, and they bothered me. I stupidly let my irritation out on you, and I'm deeply sorry for that. I ask for your forgiveness, and hope to know you better, as well."

He opened his eyes again and stared straight into mine, in deep concentration. I felt like he could see straight into my soul. They were drawing me in. I unconsciously leaned forward, becoming lost in their depth. My breath went out with a _whoosh_.

And just like that, the attractiveness I had been drowning in just a moment ago transformed into a flat, black revulsion. A loathing much stronger than anything I'd ever seen. My own eyes grew wide and I took a step back, fear stirring in the pit of my stomach. I heard my conscience yelling at me, and I knew I should run. Run away – far, far away.

But I couldn't.

It was like there was a magnetic force between Edward and I, keeping us together, and keeping me from escaping. Internally, I scolded myself; how could someone I knew so little have such an effect on me?

"I don't want to walk with you," I said, praying that he would leave.

He didn't.

Edward cocked his head to the side and stared at me curiously. It looked as though he was figuring out a difficult problem in his head.

The look in his eyes changed from intrigue, to anger, and then hunger. Not the hunger of attraction – a hunger of someone looking at his food. His prey. He was looking at me like I was his prey.

A shiver rippled down my spine and I took another step back. But this time, he mimicked me.

This wasn't good. This wasn't good, at all.

I took another step back and he followed once more, the hunger still prominent in his eyes. My heartbeat was throbbing deafeningly in my ears, and all the blood drained from my face.

Just as I turned to run back to the main office, it registered to me that there was no one there. Ms. Cope had left just minutes ago. I swung back around to see that Edward was a couple inches from me. I could feel the chill of his body upon me, and I instantly shivered again. But not only because of the temperature.

He stepped forward slowly, still staring into my eyes. I looked up at him, seeing my frightened reflection in his coal orbs, and backed up in return.

I hurriedly began reversing, my feet tripping over each other, until my back pressed against a cold, rough surface.

The side of my truck bed.

Edward, who had been following my every move, suddenly took a large step forward. We were now separated by only a couple inches of air. His hands, which had been in his jacket pockets, placed themselves on either side of my shoulders. He had made himself into a cage.

And I was stuck in it.

My breathing became shallow and my heart raced. I put my hands on his chest and pushed forward as hard as I could, throwing all of my weight against him.

He didn't budge.

I beat my fists against his chest, his arms, his abdomen, trying desperately to force him away from me.

He just continued to stare at me.

I wondered what he wanted me for. What was he? Why was he treating me this way? Why did he look at me like I was his dinner?

"Why are you staring at me that way?" I asked him. My fear decided to resolve itself in one way that all my emotions do – tears. Instantly, there were fat tears rolling down my quivering cheeks. I knew that it was dumb of me to show weakness to such a… predator. But I couldn't help it.

I saw a flash of remorse run through his eyes. I let out a sad huff of breath, and the hunger returned harshly.

"Why me?" I yelled, the tears coming faster. "Why me?" More sobs escaped me and I continued to thrash weakly against him. "What are you going to do to me?"

He took one last look at me before calmly inclining his head toward my neck. As his icy lips made contact with my throat, my breath caught and my heart skipped a beat.

"I'm sorry," I thought I heard him murmur, his lips brushing my flesh. Two sharp objects punctured through the skin at my neck and I gasped at the pain.

I made out the shout of someone else before the fire engulfed me.

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So, what did you think? I appreciate reviews a lot. Should I keep it a one-shot, or continue? Please let me know. (:


	2. Chapter Two

Disclaimer: All rightful characters, places, and plot are owned by Stephenie Meyer.

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I don't think I've ever wished for death as much as I did in the following days of my life.

It felt like my entire body was on fire. No, not only was my body _on_ fire; it was like fire was running _through_ my veins. The pain would come in currents, crashing down on me in waves of blazes. There was always an undertow, threatening to pull me under the surface and never let me return, sending me to the depths of death. But, unfortunately, it never did.

I knew I stayed conscious, because I could feel things. Right after the pain began, I could feel chilling arms wrap around me and carry me somewhere. I felt coolness every now and then on my forehead, my cheeks, my forearms. I could hear whispers, not only aimed at me, but aimed at people around me. There was never silence; always someone talking, if not to me, then to someone near me.

Whatever I was lying on, it must have been ruined by now. I continued clutching the fabric frantically, wanting the pain to either leave my body or take me over completely. I felt completely surrounded in liquid, and I knew I was hot. I was sweating myself into oblivion. My clothing clung to me, seeping with my body fluids. And whenever a new wave of fire crashed through me, I'd push my head farther into the object beneath me and arch my back, clawing my fingernails at whatever I could find. By now, I'd probably soaked and ripped everything and everyone that was near me.

But I honestly didn't care. I wanted the blistering heat to stop, and I'd do whatever it took to succeed.

I could vaguely hear people talking to me, trying to soothe me. That never worked. Words like _okay_, _fine_, and _calm_ went through one ear and out the other. I could feel their cool breath on my neck and my temple, causing shivers to run through me. But those shivers would be immediately encompassed in the inferno that was my body. I wished death would just come and find me already.

Through the haze of my pain, I remember thinking about Edward. I knew he had caused this hurt, but how? I was missing a big part of the picture, I knew I was. All of the Cullens seemed to know something, be in on something, or _be_ something totally different, in general. The extreme beauty, absurd gracefulness, unusual eyes… but what was I missing? How could one person cause such a fire as this to rip through one's body?

I remembered how he'd apologized right before he had punctured my neck. So he must have realized what he was about to do. How could a person cause this kind of pain on another, knowing fully well what they were doing? How could someone consciously choose this torrent of flame upon another? The idea itself was crazy. I would never do this to someone. I would never cause someone so much hurt that they wished and prayed, constantly, for death to come.

Then, finally, after what seemed like forever, the pain began to subside. The waves of blazes were becoming smaller, shorter in length, smaller in amount. My skin began to dry. It felt as though all of the sweat and fluid had poured out of my body. The fire running through my veins dimmed and calmed, until there was none left.

And then, after I felt no more flames, I listened to my heart – the only sound I heard now. All of the whispers stopped once I began calming down. I heard how it began to slow, the beats becoming longer and quieter.

Until. _Thump_. _Thump_.

I. _Thump_. _Thump_.

Could. _Thump_.

Hear. _Thump_.

My.

_Thump_.

Heart.

No.

_Thump_.

More.

I gasped in pleasure when I no longer heard my heartbeat. Surely, at last, death had found me.

"Bella?" I heard a soft, musical voice ask. The angels of heaven – or demons of hell – had finally come to claim me.

I opened my eyes and found myself face to face with an angel, who was leaning over me and my bed. Oddly, though, this angel looked familiar. I had seen her short black hair, her golden eyes, her pixie-like face somewhere else.

"I'm so glad you've finally come," I told her, my voice gasping.

Her face contorted into confusion, her eyebrows furrowing. "Bella? What are you talking about?"

"You're my angel," I stated. As if she didn't already know. "I'm just glad you finally saved me from that inferno. I never imagined death feeling so… painful…" I told her, slowly fading off as memories of the pain consumed me.

Her face became understanding; the wrinkles in her forehead smoothing out. "Bella. Oh, Bella. You're not dead."

I stared into her eyes. "Yes, I am. How could a human possibly have lived through the hell I was just dealt with? I have to be dead. There's no way I can be alive right now."

"Well, you're not exactly living, either…" she muttered. "Bella, I – and my family – have some explaining to do." The angel turned her head toward the door and softly said, "Come, everyone."

I was sure that no one could've possibly heard her quiet words. But, surely enough, six other angels made their way through the door. Four of them, again, looked familiar. One, in particular, I recognized more clearly than the others – the bronze-haired boy. Edward, as I recalled. He took a seat in one of the seven black leather chairs surrounding my bed; he chose the one farthest away. I noticed that Edward never made eye contact with me once. He continued staring at the floor, like there was some extremely interesting pattern on it. With a quick glance, it was nothing more than cream carpet.

The two lovely angels I didn't recognize sat in the chairs closest to me. The sandy-haired man and maternal-looking woman both continued to stare at me reassuringly, sending kind smiles my way.

My pixie savior sat in another chair, and the other two took a spot in the remaining seats. Now there were seven angels, surrounding my bed in a half-circle.

I never imagined that heaven, or hell, was so… Earthly-looking. I felt like I was back in a hospital. Everything was so clean and polished.

"Hello," I said faintly. Apparently, my voice still hadn't found its strength. "I'd like to thank you for saving me. You, in particular." I nodded toward the spiky-haired beauty. She tried to smile, but the anxiety in her eyes gave her away. "I thought the fire would never end."

Each of their faces suddenly changed to a different emotion; I recognized confusion, understanding, worry, and, finally, agony.

"Bella, my name is Carlisle," said the blonde-haired man comfortingly. He then went on to introduce all the others.

Their names each stirred memories in my past. I was back, sitting in a school cafeteria, gazing across the room at a table full of beautiful people. And, strangely enough, those sitting at the lunch table were now surrounding me in heaven – or hell. Which one it was, I still wasn't sure.

Rosalie was the long-haired beauty; Emmett, the body-builder with brown curls. Alice was the angel who originally saved me, and her mate, Jasper, was the shy blonde. Carlisle introduced his wife as the motherly woman, and lastly, there was Edward – the lovely auburn.

"Bella, can you tell us what you remember about us? About Edward, more specifically?" Carlisle asked, leaning forward ever so slightly.

Edward's name brought back pictures of biology class; the image of two black orbs pierced my memories. I saw myself walking to my car… and he was waiting for me. He had wanted to walk with me. I felt the pain, sharp objects in my neck. I placed my fingertips to the place where the fire started. I could feel two small bumps.

"I remember the fire, the blazes. Punctures in my neck. Black eyes, full of hatred and loathing. Edward –" I unconsciously winced as I spoke his name "– was standing by my truck, after school, I believe. He wanted me to walk with him, in the woods. I remember he looked at me like… like I was something to eat."

Everyone was silent. I glanced over at the slouching boy. His head was placed in his hands; practically every pore of his body exuded remorse.

"Can I ask a question?" I asked Carlisle.

He gave a short chuckle. "Of course, Bella. We still have many things to explain ourselves, so I'm sure you have plenty of questions. Go ahead and ask us anything you like."

I took a moment to gather my thoughts, and then spoke them slowly. "Am I in heaven or hell? Wherever I am, why are you beautiful creatures with me? And what are you, exactly? Are you my angels, or my extremely gorgeous demons? Did you die as I did?"

Carlisle leaned back in his seat, crossing his arms over his chest. "You are currently residing in neither heaven nor hell; actually, you are in Alaska. We are with you because you are one of us now, and we would truly like to help you with whatever you may need help with. We are not angels – far from it, actually. We are more like demons than anything. And yes, we have died as you have. Though, you aren't exactly dead, either."

I could feel the stare of each person burning holes in my face, and I realized that my jaw was hanging open since Carlisle had answered my questions. Immediately, embarrassment washed through me – but, strangely enough, my cheeks didn't feel warm. I put one of my hands on my cheek, only to feel that it was the same temperature as the rest of me.

"I am confused, to say the least," I told my group of saviors. They each chuckled quietly. Well, all except for one. But I didn't expect much from Edward. He hadn't said a word the entire time.

"May I ask only a few more questions? Then you can explain everything to me."

Again, Carlisle was the one to answer me. "Yes, dear. Ask away."

"Edward was the last person I saw before the pain – did he cause my death? You said I'm one of you now. If I'm not living, but I'm not dead, then what am I? If I'm in Alaska, where is Charlie? And Renee?" I stopped, and then remembered my recent embarrassment. "Oh, and why didn't I blush just now? Any other time, my cheeks would be bright red… but not now."

Carlisle took a deep breath. I saw him cast a quick look at Edward, who looked even more sorrowful, if that was possible.

"Yes, Edward was the cause of your… change. Because of him, you are now a member of the living dead." He gave a short, non-humorous laugh before continuing on. "Charlie is still in Forks, and Renee is still in Phoenix. Your cheeks refused to redden just now because you no longer have blood in your body to provide the blush."

I didn't say anything, mulling over the details that Carlisle had just given me.

"I am part of the living dead," I repeated. "I don't have any blood in my body. And Edward made me this way."

I thought I heard a soft, strangled noise coming from the bronze boy's chair.

I didn't realize that my voice had grown into a whisper. "How did he make me this way?" I said softly. "What am I, exactly?"

Each person in the room grew stiff as I spoke the last sentence. Only Carlisle seemed able enough to break the silence and tension. But even his usually comforting voice had become quiet and repentant.

"Edward bit you, dearest Bella. He is a vampire. As am I, and Esme, as well as Emmett, Jasper, Alice, and Rosalie." He paused – to gauge my reaction, I'm sure – then continued on. "And, because Edward bit you, _you_ are now like us, Bella. You are a vampire."


	3. Chapter Three

Disclaimer: All rightful characters, places, and plot are owned by Stephenie Meyer.

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"Vampire," I repeated. Maybe, if I kept saying the word repetitively, I'd eventually believe what he was saying.

Carlisle looked at me with intense eyes. "Yes, Bella. Vampire."

"You're a vampire," I said, dazed, sloppily pointing my finger at him. "And so are Esme, and Rosalie, and Emmett, and Alice, and Jasper… and Edward." I pointed my finger at each angel as I spoke their name, slightly pausing before finishing with the bronze-haired boy who made me one of them. Each of them looked at me as their name fell from my lips, various expressions on their faces. The only person who never made eye contact was Edward.

"Yes," Carlisle reiterated. "We are all vampires. As, now, are you."

I placed my eyes back on Carlisle's golden ones. "You're telling the truth, aren't you?"

"Yes, Bella," Carlisle sighed. "I would not lie or joke about anything like this."

I pondered this new realization for moment. I guess I did feel different. I could see things much more clear now; my eyes could count every stitch that bound together the blanket on top of me. Not only could I see each stitch, but I could also _feel_ each stitch. I was able to feel each thread of cotton rub against my legs' skin as I moved my knees side to side. I tasted an odd liquid in my mouth; it was tremendously sour, almost like acid. I could hear sounds more strongly now. I heard each person's breath, and the incessant tapping of someone's finger. I could smell mint shampoo, fabric softener, and something extremely strange… almost like the scent of a sickly sweet candy combined with sea salt and rust. The last smell made my stomach feel slightly nauseous.

It seemed, in every way, as though I had become something totally new. Every sense seemed to be more defined and magnified. And as I scanned each face surrounding me, I could find no trace of humor, no sign of lying. I could tell that Carlisle was, in fact, not joking at all. And I trusted him.

"I believe you, Carlisle," I insisted, looking at his anxious face. As I spoke those words, I felt a wave of relief crash over me.

Carlisle granted me a dazzling smile. "I'm so glad, Bella." He placed his hands on his knees and leaned forward. "So, would you like us to explain everything to you? I'm sure you must feel awfully confused right now."

"That would be nice." I faintly nodded, feeling every strand of hair on my head softly tickling my neck. My extreme senses would take some getting used to.

"Esme, would you like to begin?" Carlisle looked to his wife.

She turned to me and a reassuring smile graced her face. "Of course," she said softly, and then continued stronger. "Bella, dear, you probably feel very… different right now. I'm sure you can hear, taste, smell, feel, and see many things right now."

I nodded in reply. "I can see, feel, and hear every detail of, well, everything. I can smell strong scents… there's one that I don't really recognize, though. And that's similar with my sense of taste: I can taste something that isn't familiar, either."

Esme leaned forward and placed her hand over mine. The sudden touch startled me, but I didn't feel scared or nervous. Esme made me feel very comforted, like a mother did to her child. "Yes, that is completely normal. Each sense has been enhanced and detailed; it will take a while to get used to. The smell that you don't recognize is, in fact, blood." She paused while I let the statement sink in, trying to compose my face. I'm sure I looked slightly horrified. I'd never been a fan of blood. "Now that you are a vampire, your… meals have completely changed. You no longer eat, or hunger for, human food; now, you are only attracted to blood, Bella."

Now that she mentioned it, I noticed how I didn't feel hungry, and how my stomach hadn't rumbled unsatisfactorily. I was completely content. It was slightly strange, knowing how I would never hunger for any regular food again… and the thought of drinking blood was slightly sickening to me.

"Okay," I told her, my voice wavering slightly. "I now drink blood. I am a blood-drinker. Got it."

Almost everyone in the room chuckled at my attempt at humor. Esme squeezed my hand maternally and then looked at Emmett, who picked up where she left off. I placed my attention on the big, curly-haired man.

"And Bella, that taste that you said was unfamiliar… that is the venom in your body system."

"Venom?" I questioned. "What is venom, and what's it for, exactly?"

Now, the blond-haired boy began talking; Alice's mate. "The way that a human is changed into a vampire is by the spread of venom inside one's body. Bella, when you were bitten, the reason you became a vampire is because Edward –" as his name was spoken, a choked cry came from Edward's chair "– stopped… drinking and allowed the venom to seep into your bloodstream. Once a vampire's venom penetrates every part of the body, including the heart, then the transformation is finished."

Jasper paused before further explaining. "Venom takes place of all the fluids in your body. You will feel venom in your throat all the time – it's somewhat like saliva for a human. But the amount will increase when you smell attractive blood –"

"Can I ask a question?" I cut in.

Jasper seemed taken aback, but replied, "Of course. Ask me anything, Bella."

"You said that Edward stopped drinking and allowed the venom to spread… what would have happened if he had continued drinking?"

Jasper didn't say anything, only looked over at Edward. But Edward just shook his head, which had remained in his hands the entire time. Jasper sighed and looked back at me, a stricken expression on his face.

"If Edward hadn't stopped drinking your blood… then you would have died." Jasper finished the sentence in a soft voice and cast a quick glance at Edward before continuing. "He would have kept drinking until… until there wasn't any blood left in your body."

"Why me?" I asked. My voice sounded pained to my own ears. I realized that this was the question I had yelled at Edward before he bit me. "Why did Edward drink from me; why did he choose me?" I paused to look at Edward, wanting to see his eyes whenever I spoke about him. But they stayed on the floor beneath him. "He had spent the entire day around other humans, with blood just like mine, with plenty of opportunities for quenching his thirst…"

I trailed off as Edward's head turned upward, his eyes searing into mine. I'd never seen eyes full of such agony, anger, and self-loathing. The emotion in his pitch-black orbs was startling.

"Why me?" I repeated, my whispering voice trembling. I looked directly at Edward as I asked the question. His face crumpled into pain and a snarling sob ripped from his mouth. Suddenly, he stood up and left the room without a glance back, not bothering to shut the door behind him.

My trembling hands moved to my face, preparing to brush away the tears that I knew were coming. But, to my surprise, I didn't feel any salty droplets. Even as I bawled out my confusion and sadness, there were never any tears.

After several minutes of weeping, I embarrassedly looked at the others in the room. They were all watching me somberly, patiently waiting for the cries to subside. My eyes swept over each person until they found Carlisle.

"Bella, that is for you and Edward to discuss. When you feel comfortable enough," he added quickly when he saw my expression. My eyes looked down at my hands, watching the tremors slowly grow calmer.

A couple minutes of silence passed before I heard Carlisle speak again. "Would you like us to explain some more… light-hearted aspects of a vampire's life?"

I glanced at him and saw a smile on his face; somehow, it didn't reach his eyes. I knew he was just trying to lighten the mood. I matched his smile with a small one of my own. "Sure," I nodded.

"You're probably wondering why you didn't cry a few minutes ago," a voice across the room stated. I looked and saw that the musical voice belonged to Alice. "That's because you no longer produce tears. You also don't produce sweat. Your hair will not grow, and neither will your fingernails. You will never gain wrinkles; you will never physically age. It's as though your appearance has been frozen in time." She giggled lightly – to herself, mostly. I heard her murmur, "No pun intended."

"What do you mean?" I asked her, my eyebrows furrowed.

She smiled at me. "You're now extremely cool; your body temperature has decreased. Of course, you don't feel the change – but to humans, you would be considered very cold."

"Oh," was my simple answer.

Emmett spoke this time. "Bella, you're now incredibly strong. And indestructible. Nothing can hurt you. Along with extreme strength, you also have extreme speed. And you are very graceful," he said with a smile. "You won't be able to see that until we take you out, but trust me – I think you'll enjoy your new power and elegance." Emmett gave me a small wink, and I couldn't help but smile.

"I'm definitely excited for that," I replied. "Especially for the grace. You have no idea how clumsy I was as a –" My voice caught on the word, and it took a moment to clear the nonexistent obstruction in my throat. "Human," I finished weakly. Emmett gave me an understanding nod.

"I have another question," I stated once I had found my voice again. I felt slightly ashamed at how many questions I was asking. But, strangely, as soon as I felt the embarrassment, a sting of calm coursed over me. I kept talking, though, not wanting to forget my inquiry.

"You said that I would see my new 'power and elegance' when you took me out," I clarified, my eyes on Emmett. He nodded once again. "When will you take me out, and for how long? Ch – my dad is probably wondering where I am by now. How long have I been here, anyway?" I asked, casually looking around the room for any sign of sun or moon. There were no windows, so I couldn't tell. But I could clearly feel the tension in the air when I spoke of Charlie.

"You've been… away for three days, dearest Bella," Esme said, once again placing her hand on mine.

My eyes widened. "Three days? I've got to get back to Charlie. If I'm in Alaska, then it will take several days to drive back, and I've already been gone for long enough." I pulled back the sheets on the bed, preparing to bid my farewells. "I want to thank you for explaining everything to me, but I've got to go. Charlie will be worrying about me." I put my feet over the edge of the bed and was about to stand when two firm but gentle hands pressed on my shoulders so I stayed sitting. With a glance upward, I saw that my captor was Carlisle.

"Bella… you cannot see Charlie," he said with resounding authority.

"Why? He's my father. I have every right to see him." My voice was laced with clear annoyance.

Carlisle's tone changed from parental to caring. "Bella, you are a newborn vampire; only three days old. While a vampire is between the ages of zero- and two-years-old, he yearns for human blood much stronger than the blood of animals."

Carlisle was sure that I wouldn't move, so he took his hands off my shoulders and sat in his original seat. "You do not understand the want and need that a newborn feels for the blood of a human. To you, the scent would be extremely sweet and exciting. You would want nothing else, and you would do anything to get it."

My annoyance changed to anger. "Are you suggesting that I would want to drink my own father's blood?" I shouted, enraged.

He stayed calm, and I felt another wave of peace wash over me. He answered my slightly rhetorical question. "Yes, that is what I'm suggesting. Bella, trust me on this – I've been a vampire for many, many years. Your thirst for blood has absolutely nothing to do with the _person_. It only has to do with the blood itself. It's quite easy for a newborn – or any vampire, for that matter – to lose themselves in the hunt. You wouldn't care about whom you hurt; all that would matter would be the blood."

I sat, stunned. My thoughts went back to Edward. I wasn't sure how old he was, but if he had lost his control on me within the course of one day, I could only imagine how strong the thirst would be for a newborn like me. I decided not to question my thirst any longer.

"You said earlier that a vampire between zero and two yearns for human blood… will I have to wait two years before I see Charlie?" I asked, appalled.

Carlisle's face showed extreme grief. "Dearest Bella…" He paused, as though to choose the right words to continue. "I am so sorry, but I'm afraid that you will not be able to see your father again."

"Ever?" I whispered, my body beginning to tremble once again.

"Yes, Bella," he answered, whispering back. I was sure he was only doing it for my sake. "Whenever Edward changed you, we knew that we couldn't stay in Forks any longer. And, as a new member of the vampire family, we had to bring you with us. In order to ensure a clean break, we had to make it look as though you had passed away. Charlie and Renee are both of the knowledge that you were attacked by a wild animal."

He stopped speaking, clearly waiting for me to respond. But I didn't. I couldn't. My body was violently shaking; my teeth were chattering against each other, making it impossible to form words. Not that my thoughts were coherent at the moment, anyways. The only things running through my thoughts were two images: one of Charlie, and one of Renee. Carlisle's blurred words reverberated in my head like we were underwater. My mind vaguely acknowledged Esme's arm around my shoulder.

Carlisle continued explaining. "Bella, if they had been informed that you had merely disappeared, how do you think they would feel? Both of them would constantly be looking for the rest of their lives, eagerly awaiting the return of the missing daughter." He paused. "At least now, they have a form of closure."

I was barely able to nod before the tearless sobs consumed me. I wept for Charlie, and wept for Renee. And, selfishly, I wept for myself. Charlie and I had never been the kind of people to show our emotions to one another. But now that I knew I'd never be able to see or speak to him again, the phrase "you don't know what you have until it's gone" had never meant more to me.

I felt the bed beneath me creak and groan in protest to the bodies sitting down on it. I could feel hands comfortingly rub and pat me, hoping to offer me some reassurance. I heard whispers and words as my newly founded family tried to soothe and calm me.

It was like my time in the pain of the inferno; only now, I felt ice rather than fire.


	4. Chapter Four

I want to thank everyone for their reviews and suggestions; it's really nice for me to hear about things that might make my story better, and I do take all criticism to heart.

To my "Will Bella still end up with Edward?" reviewers: I do love Bella and Edward together… so yes, they will fall in love. Eventually. But give it some time! I mean, how would you feel if you were changed into a vampire and could never see your family again because of a vampire guy biting you? xD I wouldn't come around easily, let me tell you that.

Okay, now onto the actual chapter… this chapter focuses more on Bella's thoughts about her new family. For some reason, I don't feel too hot about it; I've read over it a billion times, and yet I can't seem to make it flow perfectly. I hope it's at least acceptable, if not good. It's really more of a transition chapter. (:

Disclaimer: All respective characters, places, and plot are owned by Stephenie Meyer.

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Once I felt stable enough to not break into more sobs, I looked at each member of my new family that sat on the bed around me.

"I'm sorry. I don't want you to feel bad about my… change," I whispered. My eyes became downcast and I clenched and unclenched my hands uncomfortably. "I know that it hasn't exactly been a picnic walk for you, either. It's just that… I think this may take some time to get used to." They all knew that I wasn't only speaking about my new senses or life, but my new family, as well.

"Don't worry about it, Bella," I heard a new voice speak. I looked up and was surprised to see Rosalie talking to me. It was slightly intimidating looking at such a beautiful person. "It's completely understandable. And yes, it will take a great deal of time."

"And just remember, that if you ever need to talk to anyone – anyone at all – we are_all_ here for you," Esme finished, continuing to rub my back. I knew who else she was including by stressing the word "all".

"Thank you," I said, nodding. My voice was still trembling.

We all sat on the bed for a while, surrounded in a comfortable silence. After what seemed like a matter of minutes, but was probably a few hours, Carlisle shifted his weight off the bed and stood next to us.

"Bella, by now, you're probably feeling a burning sensation in your throat. That is completely normal; it's only a sign that you are thirsty. If you'd like, we are able to accompany you during your first hunt. I must admit, a vampire's first hunt feels extremely strange, so allowing you our presence may be a good idea. If you'd like to go alone, though, that's also fine; we are assured that there are no humans within many miles of this house. What would you like to do?" He gave a small smile and looked at me expectantly.

I just looked blankly at him, focusing all my attention on my throat. Strangely, I didn't feel anything of the burn he was talking about; it felt completely normal. In fact, the idea of hunting for an animal's blood made me slightly nauseous.

"I don't feel any burn, Carlisle."

His lips pouted thoughtfully and his eyes narrowed onto mine in concentration. "You don't feel a burning itch in the back of your throat? How about a dull ache in the pit of your stomach? Or a slight pooling of venom in your mouth?"

I unconsciously flinched as he said the word "venom"; I supposed I'd have to get used to this new vocabulary as well as my new body and family. But I focused on what he was saying and isolated each part of my body that he talked of. They each felt completely normal.

"Nope, I don't feel any of the symptoms that you mentioned." I paused, confused. "Should I?"

"Yes," he murmured. It sounded more like he was talking to himself than to me. "Yes, you should. A newborn vampire should be extremely thirsty for blood by now. I'm actually quite surprised that you didn't mention the thirst earlier, while we were explaining the process to you."

A quick movement at the doorway caught my eye, and I saw Edward leaning against the frame, looking as puzzled as Carlisle. The sight of his extreme beauty was almost excruciating to look at.

I glanced back at the sandy-haired man and found that he was looking at Jasper with a meaningful gaze.

Jasper shook his head slightly. "I can't feel the need or desire," he muttered impossibly quickly.

Carlisle looked back at me. "Bella, are you positive that you cannot feel anything that I spoke of? You are absolutely sure?"

"Yes, Carlisle," I answered intently. "I don't feel anything like that. I feel completely normal, actually. Well, as normal as I can feel right now," I weakly joked, quirking the corner of my mouth, in a hopeless attempt to lighten the mood.

"Incredible," I heard him mumble. I gazed around the room and saw various looks of bewilderment and awe on each of their faces. What was the big deal? Why was my thirst – or lack thereof – such an extraordinary feat? My attention was drawn back to Carlisle as he said, "I'm going to my study to read up on this. Bella, you may just be the first vampire to –"

But before he could finish speaking his thought, he was out the door and, I assumed, already in his study, looking up whatever seemed to interest him so much.

"Edward, what was he thinking?" I heard Esme ask curiously. Her hand was still on my back, rubbing it calmly.

"He has a theory that Bella –" his face contorted into a painful expression, as though it was difficult for him to speak my name aloud "– may be the first of our kind with the power to resist the scent of blood."

Edward's voice was the most beautiful sound I'd ever heard. It was like a luscious golden river, gushing into my ears and filling my mind with honeyed gurgles. I didn't remember it being this velvety as a human. I tensed, trying to remember to breathe.

"It's quite alright, dearest Bella," Esme soothed, mistaking my posture. "Carlisle's theory may or may not be true."

I wondered vaguely what Edward had meant by my possible "power" – were there other kinds of powers, as well? – but I'd asked enough questions for the day. I let that thought go and stored it in the back of my mind for another time.

"Bella, do you need anything?" Alice asked. "If not, I myself need to hunt… but I don't want to leave if you have any questions or anything." She smiled a beautiful sheepish smile at me.

I answered her with my own small smile, trying to get over Edward's effect on me. "Alice, it's totally fine with me if you need to hunt." I gestured to everyone else, meeting all of their eyes – save one person. "It'll be fine if _everyone_ needs to hunt."

Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper, and Alice murmured their thanks to me and I received several rapid one-armed hugs. Then, quick as a flash, I was left in the room with only Esme. I turned and smiled at her.

"Esme, I was wondering if maybe you could show me to my room. That is, of course, if you have one for me." If I were human, I would have been blushing. "I'd like to think for a while, if that's okay."

Esme laughed; the sound was like bells chiming happily. "Of course we have a bedroom for you, Bella! Then again, you won't be using the bed much – but it's the least we could do… after what happened." She smiled at me sadly. "Come."

She took my hand and I followed her out the door, where I was instantly greeted with a huge foyer. The house was unbelievably white and clean. There were stairs on either side of the lower floor, leading up to the hallway where I was standing now, on the second floor. Several open doors were placed along the hall, and I could see entrances to rooms on the bottom floor, as well. And there, in the middle of the foyer, was a gorgeous, black grand piano. I wondered who in the house played.

Esme tugged me lightly past several doorways to the only one that was closed. She turned around to face me. "Welcome to your new room." She grinned and opened the door.

The room was a vast, pallid space. But, as large as it was, the room itself was simple. It contained a king-sized bed, a black couch, and an open closet. There was a desk with a laptop and a large bookcase. The read the titles across the room; they looked familiar and I ran to them.

Every single one of the books that I owned when I lived in Forks was placed – alphabetically by author, just as they had been in my old room – in the crisp, white bookcase. I ran my hands over each title, every word bringing up memories of Charlie and Renee. Their names tugged at my silent heart.

I turned back around to Esme, who was still standing in the doorway, looking at me with a small smile on her face.

"How did you get these?" I asked softly.

"Before we left Forks, we stopped at your house to pick up some belongings. We figured that you'd want to feel as at home as possible."

I paused, my mind chewing over her words, before running to her and embracing her in a hug. I felt her laugh into my hair.

"Thank you so much," I said to her, biting back sobs. "It really means a lot to me."

She pulled back, petting my hair with one of her hands. "I know, dearest. I know." She drew me in for one more hug before turning and leaving me to my thoughts, just as I'd asked her. Just before she closed the door to what must have been her room, one of her previous sentences finally struck me.

"Oh, Esme?" I called, though I didn't need to since she had super-sensitive hearing.

Esme turned toward me. "Yes, Bella?"

I bit my lip. "What did you mean when you said that I wouldn't be using the bed much?"

She laughed again, and just as before, the sound hit me like a rainbow of joy. "Vampires don't sleep."

My jaw dropped open. "Ever?" I couldn't imagine a life without slumber. What would I do for ten hours out of my day?

Esme nodded her head and entered her room. "Vampires never sleep." Just before shutting her door, I heard her say, "Happy thoughts, Bella."

I smiled and shut my own door, flopping onto my bed. Now it was just me and my mind.

Esme was, no doubt, my new mother figure. Her love and compassion for the family oozed out of her pores. She was an incredibly kind and caring person, I could tell that much. I'd barely known her for two hours and I already felt like a daughter to her. I smiled in spite of myself.

But thoughts of Esme quickly led to thoughts of Renee, and then to Charlie. I wondered what they were doing at this moment. Would they be having a burial service for me? The idea alone almost made me laugh out loud, seeing as I was still sitting here, alive, debating whether or not a funeral would take place for me – until I realized that they probably _would_ be having a service for me. Then, I was fighting to keep the weeps from escaping my tremulous lips.

I thought of Carlisle, and how, like Esme, he was quickly beginning to become a parental figure – like a father. Involuntarily, two images were produced in my mind: a picture of Charlie, and a picture of Carlisle. They were two completely different faces – two completely different people – and yet, as I sat on my bed, I started comparing them.

Charlie portrayed his emotions vaguely; I'd never seen him cry, or become terrifyingly upset. He always managed to keep a relatively impassive face – whether because it was his nature, or because he didn't want people to see what he was really feeling, I couldn't be sure. Carlisle, on the other hand, wasn't afraid to tell you how he felt. And even if he didn't voice his emotions, his face showed them clearly.

And when it came down to parenting skills and technique, I couldn't compare them fairly. I'd known Charlie my entire life, but I'd only been around Carlisle for a few hours. I couldn't judge them easily. And really, I didn't want to judge them at all. It was unfair to them as much as it was unfair to me.

Then, I found my thoughts rotating around each of my new "siblings".

They all were very caring. Alice seemed like she would make a great sister; she generously offered to stay with me if I needed anything, and she was kind enough to explain some aspects of being a vampire to me. I truly felt that she was a becoming a sibling to me.

Rosalie, though I had hardly talked with her at all, seemed to be the same way as Alice. I suspected she wasn't entirely happy with my new association to her family, but she had made an effort to act friendly, nonetheless.

I already was beginning to view Emmett as a big brother. He had a playful and lively air about him that made me laugh, but he could also be serious and compassionate. I hoped we could become close friends.

I hadn't spoken with Jasper much, either, but he was also putting forward an effort for friendship. He seemed kind of withdrawn and very… to himself. And then, there were those words that he said to Carlisle, about how he couldn't feel any need or desire from me… how could he have _felt_ that I didn't feel those emotions? I was missing out on something big, something important.

And then, there was Edward.

I had so many different feelings about Edward; I was surprised that I didn't just explode from the magnitude of them all.

First, I felt somewhat angry. I felt mad at him for the fact that I'd never get to see my own parents again. Or even the new friends I'd made on my first day at school. Why had he bitten me in the first place? I wanted to talk to find out why he'd chosen me and not another person at school – or better yet, why he'd chosen anyone at all. What had made his control over his thirst falter in the first place?

Then, I felt sorrow. I knew that Edward was upset at himself for what he'd done to me; the remorse practically poured out of his body. And, somewhere deep inside me, I knew that he'd never meant to change me into a vampire; I could tell. No one wanting to change someone would ever feel self-loathing afterward. Yes, some part of me believed that he truly regretted what he had done to me, what he had put me through.

And lastly, sadly enough, I felt attraction. I was undoubtedly attracted to my very killer. His chiseled cheekbones, strong jaw, gentle-looking lips, and piercing topaz eyes made his face extraordinarily gorgeous; he could easily be compared to a Greek god. And then there was his voice, a voice the felt like liquid sugar running through my veins. He truly was absolutely beautiful…

And out of all of these feelings, attraction was the strongest and most prominent.

I wanted to forgive him; I knew that much. What happened in the past was done now, and as difficult as it would be, I knew that I had to leave my former life behind. I didn't _want_ to be angry with him. It was unfair to be so upset at someone when I didn't know their motives in the first place. I wanted to talk with him and find out exactly why he'd chosen me. And maybe, if I could find it in myself to forgive him, I'd want to become good friends with him, too.

"Esme," I called, knowing she could hear me. Not two seconds later, she was standing at my doorway.

"Yes, dear?" She smiled.

"I want to talk with you about… about Edward," I stumbled, looking down.

Esme gracefully walked to my bed and sat down next to me; when I looked up, her smile had vanished. "Of course. What about him would you like to talk with me about?"

All of my confessions came pouring out of my mouth, like someone had lifted the dam to the river of thoughts in my mind. "I feel mad at him, Esme, I really do. He's taken my family away from me and made me something that's not human. And I know there's a reason he did it; I can just tell."

I paused. "And yet, even though I'm so angry with him, I _want_ to forgive him. I_want_ to talk to him. It's clear how much my change has hurt him… I just want to find it in myself to forgive him. I want to become friends with him, like I am with everyone else.

"But then again, I'm not sure if _he_ wants to become _my_ friend." Now that I had gotten my words out, they were beginning to sound almost childish. Like I was a little girl in elementary school, talking to her mom about a friend that hurt her feelings.

Esme, thankfully, didn't see it that way; she had listened calmly throughout my speech, and when I finished, she placed her hand on my upper back.

"That's very kind of you, Bella, to want to forgive Edward. Let me tell you – your forgiveness is not something he is expecting. He expects you to hate him, to never want to speak with him again. He doesn't expect friendship out of you at all.

"That being said, anything you do will be a good place to start a friendship. Any sign of compassion toward Edward will mean to world to him. Even if all you do is say 'hello' to him each time you see him, he'll realize that you don't want to angry with him forever.

"And can I let you in on a little secret?" She leaned in and smiled at me. I simply nodded my head in response, soaking in everything she was saying. "While Edward doesn't _expect_ your friendship, or even mere kindness, I know for a fact that it's something which he secretly_desires_."

Esme smiled wider and stood, stepping back toward the door. When she reached the frame, she turned around and finished "Bella, I hope you _are_ able to forgive him, too. While it's completely normal for anyone in your position to feel angry and distraught, it shows great strength to be able to absolve your issues freely.

"I hope I've helped you in some way or another, and I wish you all my luck. If you need me, I'll be in my room." Giving me one final smile, she shut my stark white door softly.

I knew that I wanted to become Edward's friend. But Edward secretly wanted to become mine, as well? That was news to me; he hadn't spoken to me since I'd opened my newly-enhanced eyes, several hours ago.

I heard a large-sounding door downstairs open and then close quietly, conversations of my siblings filling my ears. Edward's words, in particular, stood out.

This was the perfect opportunity to begin a friendship. I wasn't sure how long it would take, but I wanted to start as soon as possible.

Opening my own door and hopping down the stairs, I found myself still watching my steps carefully. I wasn't used to my grace yet. I wasn't sure I'd ever be used to it. After tripping over thin air every day of my life when I was a human, clumsiness had practically become second nature.

When I reached the bottom floor, I used the sounds of their voices to guide me through the unfamiliar house. I walked across the foyer and gently pushed against the door blocking me from my new siblings, not wanting to interrupt anything personal. They sounded like they were having a serious discussion about something.

"Come in, Bella." Alice sounded like she was smiling.

She heard me? I hadn't made a sound… I entered the room shyly, my eyes downcast of their own accord. Out of my peripheral vision, I could distinguish several figures sitting on a sofa, and one sitting in an armchair. It looked to be a living room. "Um, I'm sorry. I wasn't eavesdropping or anything like that." I interlocked my hands and started playing with my fingers.

Emmett's laughter floated through my ears; its booming quality compared to Alice's silky voice was striking, making me look up in surprise. "Okay, everyone, stop talking about Bella – she's here now." He winked at me, letting me know he was joking.

"Don't worry about it, Bella," Alice said, "I'm just extremely attuned to my sensitive hearing; that's how I heard you. I know you weren't listening in." She gave me a wide grin, and I returned it.

Jasper gestured to sit down next to him; I obliged. Now I was on the couch, squeezed between Rosalie and Emmett on my left, and Alice and Jasper on my right. It was a tight fit with both of the big-muscled men on each side of me. Edward was seated by himself on the armchair across from us, his eyes anywhere but on my face.

"Well, hello, you four," I sang – purposely leaving out the bronze-haired boy – and lightly nudging those sitting next to me. They responded with their own varied hellos, returning to the conversation they were having previous to my entry. Edward's jaw tightened and his face was clearly more distraught than before.

Taking a deep breath, I stared into Edward's eyes, eager to see his reaction.

"And hello, Edward," I said as warmly as I could. His eyes met mine, confused and concentrated. I gave him the brightest smile I could muster – I hoped it didn't resemble a grimace.

Everyone in the room grew silent and tense while Edward's jaw dropped a miniscule amount. His deep golden orbs kept looking at me like I was a difficult puzzle he was trying to figure out.

"Hello, Bella," he said faintly. His beautiful voice drifted into my mind, rendering my thoughts nearly incoherent.

It was a small start… but a start, nonetheless.


End file.
